Soon after the vote in the General Synod of the Church of England in 1992 to ordain women to the priesthood, a colleague of mine expressed his sense of anger: “Once I was a bitter Catholic; now I am just bitter.” For many laity and clergy in those years after that vote there was to be profound questioning of what they had previously believed about the nature of the Church of England. It was expressed by the late Brian Brindley who said that he felt like a vacuum-cleaner salesman who had discovered that the product he had been selling all his life just didn’t work. Some who went “over to Rome” were quite happy to leave all that they had been and done in the past; others hesitated over the move, believing that to accept Catholic ordination would be to deny what they had previously believed.

Many were helped by the remark of the Pope Benedict XVI, that the Anglicans who had approached him were living the Catholic life, although outside the Catholic Church as defined by the Catechism. Those who sought to be reconciled with the Catholic Church were encouraged to bring the life they had led as Anglicans as a gift to be shared.

Those who have experience of school inspections will perhaps recall the phrase ‘working towards’ – for those who had not achieved a certain level but were on the right path. Increasingly in the second half of the 20th century Anglo-Catholics rejected the ‘Branch Theory’ – that the Catholic Church had three branches, Anglican, Roman and Orthodox. The dynamic move towards Christian unity convinced them that Anglo-Catholicism could not be a ‘party’ within the C of E. Its aim was to identify elements of Catholic belief and practise, and to steer her into fullness of communion with the See of Peter, the rock from which she was hewn.

Would this have been possible? Yes, it would! But as we look back now over nearly 30 years we can see that the C of E stood at the cross roads and had to make a crucial decision. Before it could decide whether or not to admit women to the priesthood, it had to be clear what that priesthood was. But it could not ask that question because it feared the answer. Or rather, the answers: for the C of E had held together three groups who held mutually incompatible doctrines of the ministry. This was most vividly illustrated recently by the ordinand on BBC Radio 4 Sunday worship who spoke of being “ordained a curate” later this year. It appears that this is now the understanding of ordained ministry in the C of E – as we feared after that fateful vote.

Now what of the Ordinariate project? Certainly in England the numbers did not materialise as hoped. At times there were surprises among those who became Catholics and those who did not – not always the people one imagined. The groups were small, and whole or even majority congregations fewer than expected. The Anglican authorities were defensive and not, on the whole, generous; the Catholic authorities (in the UK at least) seemed sometimes not to understand the rationale for the Ordinariate. Yet it has survived, and perhaps most important of all, shown a new path to unity. This has been a real challenge when the unity movement has been largely reduced to a service in January followed by a weak cup of tea. Perhaps the chief difficulty for the Ordinariate in the UK is the unwillingness of so many, both within and without the religious scene, to treat it seriously and to give it that publicity which it needs.

The question of the “Anglican Patrimony” – that gift to be shared with the whole Church – remains a tricky one. The publication of the Divine Worship Missal has led many to concentrate on liturgy, somewhat to the marginalising of spirituality, pastoral practice, the clerical life, preaching and music. In all of these areas there is a rich Anglican heritage. But then it is difficult to develop these areas when so much time and energy has to be spent in the business of survival!

Jesus said, ” unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. ” (John 12,24) These words give me hope for the future.